The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Impresses Many With His Ability to Open Stubborn Pickle Jars

September 12, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local strong man Art P. Blatz, 51, is renowned throughout the area for his ability to open pickle jars that no one else can seem to get open, even after running hot water […]

Unger & Thirst

Fraser Valley Man Dunks Donut, Sparks Massive Theological Debate

September 11, 2016 Andrew

CLEARBROOK, BC Little did Elmer Friesen know when he dunked his chocolate glazed donut in his coffee at the local Tim Hortons, that this small act would spark a theological feud with neighbouring coffee drinkers. […]

Unger & Thirst

Pastor Declares Self-Service Corn Stand an ‘Evil Temptress’

August 31, 2016 Andrew

PEMBINA VALLEY, MB Every year in August the honesty and integrity of Mennonites throughout the Pembina Valley is put to the test as local farmers set up self-service corn stands at the end of their […]

Unger & Thirst

Archaeologists Excavate Thick Layer of Sunflower Seeds on Car Floor

August 29, 2016 Andrew

WARMAN, SK More than twenty years of knackzoat accumulation, amounting to over three hundred kilos, has been excavated from the car floor of local couple Barney and Ethel Kehler of Warman. The Kehlers have been knacking zoat onto […]

Unger & Thirst

Pharaoh’s Heart Hardened by Cracklings

August 20, 2016 Andrew

THEBES, EGYPT Despite considerable urging from Israelite leader Moses, the Pharaoh mentioned in the Book of Exodus refused to let the Israelites go because his “heart was hardened.” New evidence suggests that Pharaoh’s heart condition can […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 134 135 136 … 139 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Dating Couple Finds Convenient Loophole in Purity Pledge
    March 27, 2018
  • Mennonites Caught Smuggling Dirty Rubber Boots Across the Border
    June 19, 2018
  • They’ve Totally Changed All the Lyrics to 606
    February 17, 2025
  • Mennonite Man’s Entire Sense of Self-Worth Wrapped Up in His 14-in-1 Leatherman Multi-Tool
    December 30, 2022
  • Netflix to Crack Down on Mennonites Sharing Passwords
    May 6, 2022

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved