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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Enters Rehab with Waffle Addiction

August 1, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Residents are already calling him the ‘Amy Winehouse of Waffles,’ and after an entire weekend where he consumed more than three hundred waffles and fifteen gallons of white sauce, local man Arnold Warkentin […]

Unger & Thirst

Documentary Filmmaker Subsists on Nothing But Faspa For an Entire Month

July 25, 2016 Andrew

HERBERT, SK Filmmaker Morgan Spurlock, famous for eating nothing but McDonalds for an entire month in the film Super Size Me, has taken his stunt-eating to a new level with his recent film Super Faspa […]

Unger & Thirst

Curry Dish Confuses Attendees at Mennonite Potluck

July 11, 2016 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON It was just a regular Sunday after-church potluck for members of Leamington Gospel Mennonite Church. That is, until, Lydia Neufeld, 75, showed up with butter chicken. “I couldn’t figure out what on earth […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Man Gets Totally Hammered on Welch’s Grape Juice

July 8, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB In an effort to discourage drunkenness, many Mennonite churches in the Hanover area have replaced wine with non-alcoholic grape juice during monthly communion services. Yet, somehow, every communion Sunday, local dentist, Elbert W. Berg, 41, is […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Man Peter Penner Picks a Peck of Pickled Peppers

July 6, 2016 Andrew

PANSY, MB Pastor Peter Penner of Pansy has been pruning his peppers and is now prepared to pick a peck of them. “It’s not often you pick a peck of peppers and they’re pre-pickled,” said Penner. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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