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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Elderly Mennonite Man Tries a Hamburger for the First Time

October 3, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After numerous construction delays, the Manitoba burger chain Salisbury House has finally hit the big time and opened a branch in the small Mennonite town of Steinbach, Manitoba, where Arnold F. Vogt, 81, had […]

Unger & Thirst

Chef Gordon Ramsay Has Absolutely No Criticism for Mennonite Girls

September 21, 2016 Andrew

LONDON, UK Surly British chef and television host Gordon Ramsay was briefly tongued-tied on Friday, after being stunned by the kitchen chops of Mennonite cookbook author Lovella Schellenberg and her team who appeared on Ramsay’s television […]

Unger & Thirst

McDonalds Adds ‘Mennonite Tomato Soup’ Made From Ketchup Packets to Menu

September 19, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Inspired by patrons in Winkler, Steinbach and other predominantly Mennonite communities that McDonalds serves, the international fast food chain is testing out a new menu item: tomato soup made from ketchup packets and water […]

Unger & Thirst

Rowdy Steinbach Hockey Fan Dumps Schmaunt Fat All Over Winkler Man

September 18, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Things got pretty intense on Friday at the junior hockey game between fierce rivals the Steinbach Windmills and Winkler Teetotalers. Security guards were unable to prevent one overly passionate Steinbach fan from dumping […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Impresses Many With His Ability to Open Stubborn Pickle Jars

September 12, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local strong man Art P. Blatz, 51, is renowned throughout the area for his ability to open pickle jars that no one else can seem to get open, even after running hot water […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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