The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

‘Mennonite Boys Can Cook’ Cookbook Fails to Impress

January 3, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC After seeing ‘Mennonite Girls’ dominate the cooking headlines in recent years, Fraser Valley men Abe Fast and Arnold Doerksen decided they could make their own cookbook, too. “Oba, if those girls can cook, […]

Unger & Thirst

Global Mennonite Weight Increases 50 Million Pounds Over the Holiday Season

January 2, 2017 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Scientists at the Center for Mennonite Health in Lancaster, Pennsylvania have estimated that the collective weight of Mennonites on planet Earth reached 420 million pounds during the 2016 holiday season, an increase of […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Pastor Offers Mennonite Hangover Cures

January 1, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB In his morning sermon, a local pastor at Steinbach’s EMBM church is providing his congregants with sage advice to overcome holiday hangovers. “I’m a practical man,” said Pastor Tim. “I’m giving the people […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Water Tower to be Filled With Champagne for New Year’s Eve

December 31, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Once the most prominent structure on the Steinbach skyline, in recent years the water tower has been surpassed in prominence by the SCU building, the curling rink, and numerous ever-expanding churches. In an effort to […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Overdoses on Christmas Oranges

December 26, 2016 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Local woman Mrs. Helen F. Gerbrandt, 76, of the Kleefeld area was hospitalized yesterday after consuming more than thirty Mandarin oranges in a single sitting. “She’s got way too much Vitamin C in her body,” […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 124 125 126 … 135 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Couple Names Children After Really Obscure Old Testament Characters
    June 2, 2016
  • Manitobans Shocked to Experience an Actual Fall this Year
    October 22, 2023
  • Grandpa Wiebe Knipses Twelve Twenties in a Row
    December 22, 2017
  • Winkler Realtor Invites Nosy Mennonites to Wander Around the Friesen’s House
    July 11, 2018
  • Horse Shit Cleared from City Streets and Moved Online
    August 24, 2023

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved