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Unger & Thirst

Unger & Thirst

Ten Epic Mennonite Dishes We Wish Were Real

February 16, 2017 Andrew

For the most part, Mennonite cuisine, like the people who cook it, remains rather slow to change. While some variations on classic recipes have been attempted (such as MJ’s Mennonite poutine), for the most part […]

Unger & Thirst

McDonalds to Offer All-Day Faspa

February 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thanks to pressure from many of their loyal Mennonite customers, the world’s largest fast food chain is experimenting with all-day faspa in a half dozen Western Canada stores. “We’ve been listening to customers […]

Unger & Thirst

Man Uses Female Pen Name to Submit Recipes to Mennonite Cookbook

February 4, 2017 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Local man Mr. Benjamin Harms has been writing recipes under the pseudonym Martha Pankratz for the past thirty years. With this female pen name he has published recipes including schnetke, buttazupand a delightful jellied veal […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Denies Having a Beer Belly

February 1, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Local man Herman Fast has denied accusations made by church authorities that his rotund belly is the result of drinking large quantities of beer, claiming that it is due solely to the […]

Unger & Thirst

Used Car Lot Offers Free Bucket of Schmaunt Fat with Every Test Drive

January 11, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Proving once again that Steinbach truly is “worth the trip,” Unger Motors of Steinbach is offering a free 5 gallon bucket of schmaunt fat to anyone who test drives a used vehicle this weekend. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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