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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Winkler Church Raises Money to Send Missionaries to Morden

October 11, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB They may only be ten minutes apart by car, but the twin cities of Winkler and Morden are worlds apart when it comes to wild living and lite beer drinking. In order to […]

Unger Conviction

New Study Shows Mennonites Feel 6% More Guilt Than Catholics

October 2, 2016 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON A new study from the University of Kitchener suggests that Mennonites experience only slightly more guilt than their Roman Catholic counterparts. While both groups experience similar levels of guilt and shame on issues of food and […]

Unger Conviction

100 Million Viewers Expected to Watch Tonight’s Televised Mennonite Elder Board Meeting

September 26, 2016 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA CNN is expecting record viewership tonight as it plans for the first ever live broadcast of a Mennonite elder board meeting. “Some people haven’t been paying attention to the current Mennonite election cycle and […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor Invites Congregation to ‘Netflix and Chill’ Night at Local Church

September 23, 2016 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Things got real awkward on Wednesday after people showed up to Rev. Gary Braun’s ‘Netflix and Chill’ night at the local Mennonite church. Braun, 63, says he tries to stay “with it” and thought […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Accidentally Performs First Ever Infant Baptism

September 20, 2016 Andrew

NEWTON, KS The first infant baptism in the history of the Mennonite church was performed last Sunday in Newton, Kansas, as a local pastor used a little too much water in his pouring of 24-year-old expectant […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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