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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Confused Out-of-Towners Attend Every Mennonite Church in Fort Garry

December 10, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Ruth and Arnold Dueck of Altona were invited to a baptismal service in the Fort Garry neighbourhood of Winnipeg this past Sunday, but found the wide array of Mennonite churches in the area […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Bans Google Chrome

November 29, 2017 Andrew

STRASBURG, PA The leadership at South Strasburg EMB passed a resolution this week banning the use of the Google Chrome web browser. Church members caught using Google Chrome will be forced to paint their computer […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Appoints Man to Lead Women’s Ministry

November 24, 2017 Andrew

SCHRAKJLIJCH, MB The Nominating Committee at the Schrakjlijch Mennonite Church has appointed Mr. Henry Klassen as the new head of the Women’s Ministry. Mr. Klassen previously served as Head Usher for the past 20 years, […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor Breaks Down, Admits Entire Sermon Was Just Fake News

November 23, 2017 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Pastor Johan Burkholder of South Elkhart Mennonite Church shocked the congregation on Sunday by admitting his entire six-week sermon series on the Book of Revelation was just “fake news.” “I’m sorry, I just […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor’s Wife Offers Makeup Lessons

November 19, 2017 Andrew

BLUFFTON, OH Mrs. Alice Steiner, 52, piano teacher and pastor’s wife at East Bluffton Mennonite Church, has graciously agreed to offer makeup lessons to any and all parishioners who “need a few tips.” “I really […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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