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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Martin Luther Costumes Flying Off the Shelves this Halloween

October 31, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB 500 years after the Protestant Reformation, Martin Luther has become the hottest costume this Halloween surpassing sales of Wonder Woman, Batman, and the entire cast of Game of Thrones. “Kids just seem to […]

Unger Conviction

Four-Part Harmony Slashed to Three After Recent Budget Cuts

October 25, 2017 Andrew

BUHLER, KS In response to recent budgetary pressures, the elder board at West Buhler Mennonite Church has decided to eliminate the tenor part from all songs sung on Sundays. “Times are tough. We had to […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Dies After Serving on One Too Many Church Committees

October 22, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Local woman Mrs. Dorothy Shenk, 71, passed away this week after being asked to serve on yet another church committee. Before her untimely death by committee, Mrs. Shenk was happily serving on the […]

Unger Conviction

Who is the ‘Mennonite Pope’?

October 18, 2017 Andrew

Of course, in theory Mennonites believe that all members have equal right and access to interpret scripture and lead the church, which is why we’ve traditionally left the selection of elders and pastors up to […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Brethren and General Conference Sign Massive Free Trade Deal

October 13, 2017 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Just as NAFTA and the European Union seem to be falling apart, the Mennonite Brethren and Mennonite Church have inked a brand new free trade deal that will see the lifting of tariffs […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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