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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Dating Couple Finds Convenient Loophole in Purity Pledge

March 27, 2018 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA College juniors, Matt Lewis and Bethany Lehman, are among thousands of American young people to sign pledges committing themselves to “remain pure until marriage.” Luckily for the newly dating couple, however, they were able to […]

Unger Conviction

Last Church in Town Finally Drops ‘Cumbersome Mennonite Label’

March 26, 2018 Andrew

KLEINFELD, SK In the 1920s, the small town of Kleinfeld had more than a dozen Mennonite churches of various shapes and sizes. In 2018, all the churches are still around, though over the years most of […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple Faces Barrage of Questions After Wife Pulls Up to Church in the Driver’s Seat

March 20, 2018 Andrew

OSLER, SK Mr. and Mrs. George and Aggie Brandt of Osler were held for questioning by the church board this week after pulling onto the parking lot of South Osler Mennonite with Aggie at the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Hides Geocache in Church to Attract New Members

March 19, 2018 Andrew

AKRON, PA In an attempt to be more “missional” and attract new members, Pastor Dave of West Akron Mennonite planted five cleverly hidden geocaches in his church this past Sunday. “It worked out great. We […]

Unger Conviction

Choir Director Admits He Really Doesn’t Know What the Heck He’s Doing with His Arms

March 18, 2018 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Mr. Peter Friesen, choir director at Third Mennonite Church in Saskatoon, admitted in a candid interview this past week that he’s basically just standing up there and flailing his arms about randomly. “It’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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