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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Pastor’s Son By Far the Worst Behaved Kid in Sunday School

January 18, 2018 Andrew

FREDRICTON, NB Reverend Unrau was called out of the adult Prayer Class yet again this Sunday after his son Timothy socked two other boys in the nose and called little Lisa Wilson a “Poopyface.” It […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Converts JWs at the Front Door

January 5, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB On a frosty winter morning, after a marathon theological discussion that lasted almost five hours, Mr. Peter Siemens of Altona successfully converted the Jehovah’s Witnesses at his front door. “I was still in […]

Unger Conviction

Church with 250 Members Splits into 250 Churches

January 2, 2018 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA After a particularly heated membership meeting this past week, the South Lancaster Mennonite Church has decided to split the entire congregation into more manageable units of one. “At first we decided to just […]

Unger Conviction

Church New Year’s Eve Party Over By 8 PM

December 31, 2017 Andrew

OMAHA, NB Revellers at the Omaha Mennonite Church plan to ring in the New Year in the church basement tonight with hymn singing, board games, and Grandma Jansen’s onion dip. The festivities are scheduled to […]

Unger Conviction

Man Escapes Mennonite Section of Heaven, Shocked at What He Finds

December 30, 2017 Andrew

HEAVEN Mr. Abe Penner passed away in January 1968 and, for almost fifty years, had been living a quiet peaceful existence in the Mennonite section of Heaven, blissfully unaware of the vast expanse of Paradise […]

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