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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Naive Young Man Still Clinging to Hope of Meeting Eligible Young Woman in Church

July 3, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local bachelor Timothy Wiebe, 23, of Altona is sticking to his guns and showing up to church every Sunday hoping and praying that a young woman his age will miraculously appear. Wiebe has […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Fakes Injury to Avoid Church this Morning

July 1, 2018 Andrew

MENNO COLONY, PARAGUAY Guillermo Toews, 26, of Menno Colony went down with an injury early this morning, but slo-motion replay shows he’s “clearly just faking it to avoid going to church.” “We’ve seen this kind […]

Unger Conviction

Military Called In to Prevent Mennonite Woman from Getting Behind the Pulpit

June 28, 2018 Andrew

ASHLAND, PA The National Guard were rushed into a small Pennsylvania church this past Sunday after a Mennonite woman attempted to get behind the pulpit and elucidate the audience on the Book of 2 Peter. […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor’s Wife Wears ‘I Really Don’t Care, Do You?’ Jacket to Church

June 24, 2018 Andrew

AKRON, PA Mrs. Melanie Troyer, 43, wife of Reverend Dilbert Troyer, showed up to church this morning sporting a “I Really Don’t Care, Do You?” jacket that she purchased online at Zara. The Troyers were […]

Unger Conviction

Impromptu Worship Service Breaks Out in Hobby Lobby

June 13, 2018 Andrew

GRAND FORKS, ND More than three hundred shoppers spontaneously broke out into song last Saturday at the Hobby Lobby in Grand Forks. “I was just minding my own business looking at the wide array of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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