The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

Unger Conviction

Unger & Thirst

Olive Garden Runs Out of Gift Cards During Pastor Appreciation Month

October 15, 2019 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Olive Garden locations across the continent have been running short on gift cards after every single pastor received $20 in Olive Garden money for Pastor Appreciation Month. “At first we weren’t sure […]

Unger Conviction

$10 Billion Business Deal Inked in Mennonite Church Lobby

October 9, 2019 Andrew

KLEINESCHANTZ, SK Mr. Thiessen and Mr. Klassen just signed a massive $10 billion business deal in the local Mennonite church lobby this past Sunday. The deal is the third largest business deal ever signed in […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Forms Committee Responsible for Forming Other Committees

October 3, 2019 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON The South Waterloo Mennonite Church has just formed a radical new committee whose sole responsibility is forming other committees. The new Committee Committee is made up of a select group of committee members […]

Unger Conviction

Time Between Ceremony and Reception Extended to Torture Wedding Guests

September 21, 2019 Andrew

JANSEN, NE Guests at the Reimer-Claassen wedding this weekend were treated to a torturous five-hour gap between the ceremony and reception so that the couple could “take pictures.” “There’s nothing to do out here. We’re […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Discards Hymnals Because No One Can Read Music Anymore

September 15, 2019 Andrew

NEWTON, KS The Second Mennonite Church of Newton, Kansas has decided to ditch their hymnals after it was discovered that not a single person in the congregation could read sheet music anymore. “Oh, sure, Mrs. […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 45 46 47 … 89 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Blumenort ‘Menno Knights’ Forced to Change Team Name
    November 13, 2024
  • Frantic Mennonites Stockpile Hand Sanitizer, Toilet Paper, and Farmer Sausage
    March 8, 2020
  • Maxime Bernier Spotted Parachuting Above Winkler, Manitoba
    May 8, 2023
  • 20-year-old Spinster Gives Up On Marriage
    September 15, 2016
  • Winnipeg Woman Breaks Longstanding Vow Never to Leave the City with Visit to Pool in Steinbach
    March 2, 2024

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved