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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Grandma Plett Discovers Bible iPhone App, Disrupts Service

August 26, 2020 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Grandma Plett, 81, of Linden Menno Manor, recently discovered a handy new Bible app on her iPhone. The app features large print and the ability to have Morgan Freeman read the Bible aloud […]

Unger Conviction

Hundreds of Mennonites Show Up at Church on Onewheels

August 15, 2020 Andrew

SOMMERFELD, MB Hundreds of Mennonites abandoned their pickup trucks and minivans and, instead, showed up at church this weekend on electric skateboards called Onewheels. “Oh, you know me,” said Mr. Plett, “I always keep up […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Brings His Own Bible to BYOB Event

August 11, 2020 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Mr. Bender, 63, was very excited this past weekend to be invited to his first ever BYOB barbecue just a few doors over at a neighbour’s house. “It’s so nice to see the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Called Before the Church Elders for Commenting on an Article Without Reading It

July 28, 2020 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Mr. Andrew Yoder, 31 was brought before the church elders this week after it came to their attention that he had commented on a Buzz Feed article without reading it and that this […]

Unger Conviction

MKs Totally Destroy PKs in First Annual Church Kid Olympics

July 24, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB MKs from across the world flew into Winnipeg this month, and after quarantining for two weeks, were ready to “absolutely destroy” the team of PKs who had been assembled for the first annual […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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