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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Chris Wallace to Moderate Upcoming Mennonite Church Board Meeting

September 30, 2020 Andrew

AKRON, PA After a stellar performance at the Presidential debate in which he always had things under complete control, Fox News anchor Chris Wallace has been tasked with his biggest challenge yet: moderating an upcoming […]

Unger Conviction

Report: 97% of Mennonites Still Refer to ‘Mennonite Church’ as ‘General Conference’

September 25, 2020 Andrew

ELKHART, IN The General Conference, I mean Mennonite Church, would like to clarify something for everyone. The denomination changed it’s name quite a while ago and wishes people would get it right already. “The General […]

Unger Conviction

Dusty Springfield Song Haunts Pastor’s Son His Whole Life

September 24, 2020 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN For Reverend Vogt’s son, Dylan, 31, of Mountain Lake, Minnesota there is one song he just cannot escape, and that is Dusty Springfield’s 1968 smash hit “Son of a Preacher Man.” “That […]

Unger Conviction

New Mennonite Parents Invite Friends Over for ‘Denomination Reveal Party’

September 20, 2020 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Thomas, 19, and Mary, 18, got married just seven months ago and have invited all the Fehrs and a few Friesens over for the “Faith Reveal Party” of their first child this Sunday […]

Unger Conviction

Epic Fail! MBer and GCer Make Feeble Attempt at Singing the Doxology Together

September 7, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The CMU semester seemed to be off to a good start as Breanna, an MBer, and Paul, a GCer, started dating after sitting six feet away from each other in their “Intro to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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