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Unger Conviction

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Called Before the Church Elders for Commenting on an Article Without Reading It

July 28, 2020 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Mr. Andrew Yoder, 31 was brought before the church elders this week after it came to their attention that he had commented on a Buzz Feed article without reading it and that this […]

Unger Conviction

MKs Totally Destroy PKs in First Annual Church Kid Olympics

July 24, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB MKs from across the world flew into Winnipeg this month, and after quarantining for two weeks, were ready to “absolutely destroy” the team of PKs who had been assembled for the first annual […]

Unger Conviction

Local Bible School Offers Degree in Inspirational Meme Creation

July 22, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Pembina Valley Bible School has just introduced a new three-year certificate in ‘Inspirational Meme Creation’. PVBS students will be taught how to select a sunset and where to place the Joel Osteen quote. […]

Unger Conviction

For Some Reason Worship Leader Just Can’t Seem to Worship the Lord Without His $4000 Taylor

June 29, 2020 Andrew

ELKART, IN A local worship leader walked off the stage at church this Sunday after he’d forgotten his Taylor dreadnought and someone offered a “totally inferior” replacement guitar. “Ugh, it’s just not the same with […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonites Happy, Pentecostals Sad as Ontario Bans Dancing in Church

June 21, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Churches are reopening in Ontario this week with a number of restrictions. On the top of the list is a ban on dancing. Unsurprisingly, the new law has devastated Pentecostals but absolutely thrilled […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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