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mark carney

Unger the Influence

Mennonite Woman Mentors Mark Carney on How to Bite His Tongue

May 7, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Gearing up for his first international visit to Washington, DC, Prime Minister Mark Carney took an intensive three week crash course in tongue-biting from someone who is a world renowned expert in the […]

Unger the Influence

Canadians Excited to Vote in Upcoming False Dichotomy

April 18, 2025 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Voters across the country are gearing up for what just may be the most exciting and important False Dichotomy we’ve had in many decades. “It was really hard to decide who to vote […]

Unger the Influence

Progressives Find Themselves in Awkward Position of Having to Say Nice Things About a Banker

March 31, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON It came out of nowhere, but left-leaning liberals and progressives across Canada are suddenly huge fans of bankers. Banker-mania is sweeping the nation, some even going so far as sporting Mark Carney-inspired haircuts. […]

Unger Conviction

Carney’s Speech Rated Just 2% More Exciting than Mennonite Pastor’s Sermon

March 20, 2025 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB University of La Crete Sociologist Dr. Pete Peters, who has spent more than 30 years studying audience engagement with public speakers, has found that Mark Carney’s speeches are a full 2% more exciting […]

Unger the Influence

Pierre Poilievre to Reintroduce Carbon Tax Just So He Has Something to Scrap

March 17, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON With a federal election on the horizon, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre is looking to bring back the unpopular carbon tax just so he can make a very dramatic display of scrapping it. “It’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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