STRASBOURG, FRANCE Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney has decided to send the descendants of Mennonite delegates Jakob Hoeppner and Johann Bartsch to negotiate a privilegium with the EU. “Understanding the importance of these meetings, we […]
ALTONA, MB Prime Minister Mark Carney and singer songwriter Bryan Adams were spotted wolfing down roll kuchen and rabus at the annual Altona Mennonite church picnic this weekend. “I mean he’s no Justin Trudeau, but […]
WASHINGTON, DC Just as negotiations between Canada and the US seemed like they were coming to a close, US Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick intervened at the last minute to create a massive $20 billion […]
TORONTO, ON LCBO stores across Ontario were flooded with American booze this afternoon, with a shocking amount of high end bourbon. Apparently, Canadians insisted that if they were going to put American booze back on […]
OTTAWA, ON With a potential trade deal in the works, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney is asking Canadian to start drinking shitty inferior American beer once again. “As a gesture of good will to our […]
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