COOPERSTOWN, NY
In a press conference held his afternoon in an Iowa cornfield, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced he had lifted the ban on several players including Shoeless Joe Jackson, all in a desperate attempt to get NBC to stop airing reruns of Field of Dreams every Saturday at 1 in the morning.
“Enough was enough,” said Manfred. “It’s a good movie, but how many times can you watch it?”
With Shoeless Joe a sure fire bet for the Hall of Fame, the entire premise of the movie is now undermined.
“Looks like Ray Kinsella can go back to growing corn,” said Manfred. “The guy was a little off his rocker anyway.”
Fans of the movie are disappointed with the decision, but have resigned themselves to watching reruns of Rookie of the Year after midnight every weekend from now on.
“I mean, come one, if he wanted to ruin a Kevin Costner movie,” said baseball fan Brayden Cladwell, “couldn’t he have at least chosen Waterworld?”
