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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Mr. Smith is Asked “You’re Not From Around Here, Are You?” Every Single Day of His Life

December 5, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Despite the fact that four generations of Smiths have lived in the Steinbach area, and there’s even an arena named after one of them, Mr. Thomas Smith, 41, is still asked every day […]

Unger Conviction

New Mennonite Hymnal Eliminates Verse 3 from Every Hymn

December 4, 2016 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN A brand new edition of the classic Mennonite Hymnal has been slimmed down a little with the elimination of verse three from every single hymn. “No one was singing verse three anyway,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

‘The Sound of Music’ Still Considered Edgy in Mennonite Communities

December 3, 2016 Andrew

SCHANZENHOF, MB More than fifty years after it hit the big screen, beloved Julie Andrews musical The Sound of Music still stirs up debate and controversy in Mennonite communities. “Back in the 60s, some classmates told me […]

Unger Suspicion

Controversial Alt-Mennonite Leader is Fed Up With Being Told Not to Judge

December 3, 2016 Andrew

HOFFENBURG, PA A fringe Mennonite group promoting a “traditional pro-judgement pro-gossip” agenda has been gaining traction in the last few weeks due, in part, to an editorial in BreitBart and a series of memes with spelling mistakes in them. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mannanite Man Can’t Hear His Own Acksant

December 2, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Peter Berg still insists after all these years that he doesn’t have a Plautdietsch accent at all. “Ats all deeze Enjelsch who have da acksant yat,” he said in perfectly fluent […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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