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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

‘Russian Mennonite’ Shocked to Discover He’s Actually Dutch

January 22, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Arnold F. Thiessen, 81, like many Mennonites in western Canada, spent his entire life under the false impression that he was a ‘Russian’. “All these years I’ve been eating borscht, cheering […]

Quizzes

How ‘Conservative’ Are You: A Guide for Mennonites

January 21, 2017 Andrew

According to recent media portrayal, Mennonites are a simple people who live in community, wear funny clothes, and smuggle drugs from Mexico. However, this characterization is a little misleading as there is wide diversity in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Thousands of Mennonites ‘Conscientiously Object’ to Winter

January 21, 2017 Andrew

PHOENIX, AZ Every winter Mennonites across the frozen Canadian prairies are faced with a challenge to their faith – do they stay and violently fight the cold weather or flee for the south as Weather Objectors? […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites to Hold Annual ‘Running of the Dairy Cows’ Down Pennsylvania Avenue Today

January 20, 2017 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Inspired by a similar tradition in small town Spain, American Mennonites plan to hold their annual ‘Running of the Dairy Cows’ today in Washington, DC. “It’s nice to see they’ve already roped off […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mrs. Henry L. Funk Celebrates Fifty Years of Using Her Husband’s Name

January 20, 2017 Andrew

KRONSGARTEN, MB Local woman Mrs. Henry L. Funk is celebrating fifty years of never using her own first name. Funk follows the Mennonite tradition of signing all her letters, postcards, and even legal documents by simply […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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