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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Hippies Mistake Steinbach’s Summer Festival for Woodstock

June 18, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than twenty-thousand dirty hippies descended on Steinbach this weekend for the annual Summer in the City Festival, apparently under the false impression that it was “like the new Woodstock or something.” “I […]

Unger Suspicion

Tom Cochrane Will Attempt to Get Mennonites to Sing Along to Rock Songs Tonight

June 17, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Canadian rock icon Tom Cochrane will attempt to defy the laws of nature in Steinbach tonight by getting a crowd of Mennonites to sing along to his songs during his Summer in the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Sells Tomato Juice Miracle Cure

June 16, 2017 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB They’re calling him ‘Tomato Juice Penner’ and people are coming from miles around to purchase his ‘miraculous’ tomato juice elixir. “Step right up, folks. Step right up. Have I got the stuff for […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Construction Crew Lasts Almost 20 Minutes Without a Vulgar Comment

June 16, 2017 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB A local residential construction crew set a new Manitoba record this past week by lasting a full twenty minutes in between obscene, vulgar, or otherwise tasteless remarks. Between 10:03, when Darryl recounted in […]

Unger & Thirst

A Daily Bonnet Travel Guide to Manitoba Mennonite Country

June 15, 2017 Andrew

A lot of people ask me, “Oba, Andrew, you write all these things about Steinbach, but just what is it really like?” Well, why don’t you come find out for yourself? It’s a fabulous place. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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