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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Steakhouse Adds Fried Bologna to Menu

December 13, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Purple Koo, Abbotsford’s toniest steakhouse, is about to get a little bit tonier, with the addition of prime cut grade A fried bologna to the menu. The addition of bologna is in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Festive Mennonite Couple Fills House to the Brim with Totally Useless Shit

December 13, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Local couple Ryan and Diane Hiebert of Abbotsford have busied themselves buying truckloads of completely useless shit for the holiday season. It’s been quite stressful for the couple as their list of people […]

Quizzes

Quiz: Is it a Swiss Mennonite thing or a Russian Mennonite thing?

December 11, 2017 Andrew

From schmaunt fat to Dutch Blitz and everything in between. We’ll see how well you can tell Swiss from Russian Mennonites. I just hope this quiz doesn’t cause yet another schism… [wp_quiz id=”2586″] (photo credit: […]

Unger Conviction

Confused Out-of-Towners Attend Every Mennonite Church in Fort Garry

December 10, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Ruth and Arnold Dueck of Altona were invited to a baptismal service in the Fort Garry neighbourhood of Winnipeg this past Sunday, but found the wide array of Mennonite churches in the area […]

The Daily Bonnet

Aging Mennonite Couple Still Fast-Forwards Through Sex Scenes

December 9, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK Mr. and Mrs. Peter and Nettie Dyck of Regina have been in the habit of fast-forwarding through sex scenes in movies since their children were young. The kids have long since grown up […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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