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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Rents Colour TV to Watch Grey Cup

November 26, 2017 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Mr. Peter W. Goossen of Linden, Alberta has decided to splurge on the rental of a huge 22 inch colour television to enjoy the Grey Cup this afternoon with his family. “We’re all […]

Unger Suspicion

Is Pope Francis a Closet Mennonite?

November 25, 2017 Andrew

VATICAN CITY There are rumbles among the Catholic faithful that their beloved pontiff may be espousing views more consistent with traditional Anabaptism than Roman Catholicism, and some are concerned the Pope may be leading the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Appoints Man to Lead Women’s Ministry

November 24, 2017 Andrew

SCHRAKJLIJCH, MB The Nominating Committee at the Schrakjlijch Mennonite Church has appointed Mr. Henry Klassen as the new head of the Women’s Ministry. Mr. Klassen previously served as Head Usher for the past 20 years, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Hymn 606 Declared Official State Song of Indiana

November 23, 2017 Andrew

INDIANAPOLIS, IN Indiana Governor Eric Holcomb took time this Thanksgiving to unveil “Hymn 606” as the official state song of the Hoosier State. “Out in Goshen and Elkhart they’re singing this all the time anyway,” […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor Breaks Down, Admits Entire Sermon Was Just Fake News

November 23, 2017 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Pastor Johan Burkholder of South Elkhart Mennonite Church shocked the congregation on Sunday by admitting his entire six-week sermon series on the Book of Revelation was just “fake news.” “I’m sorry, I just […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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