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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Visitor to Mennonite Church Blinded By All the Blond Hair

November 3, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB Winnipeg resident Angela Ricci, 28, was rushed to the hospital this past Sunday after being temporarily blinded by the overabundance of blond hair at Blumenhof Mennonite Church. “That volume of blond hair can […]

Quizzes

Menno Simons Quote or Metal Lyrics?

November 2, 2017 Andrew

Early Dutch Anabaptist leader Menno Simons wrote more than 1000 pages of theological writing. As Mennonites, we take our name from Menno Simons, but how many of us have actually read his writings? Perhaps some […]

The Daily Bonnet

Guide to Mennonite Dress Codes

November 1, 2017 Andrew

Oba, my name is Reverend Abram Lepp of the Halbstadt colony over by near Muntau and Hierschau. You know the place. I think we’re prob’ly second cousins on the Loewen side. Anyway, I’ve been seein’ just vay […]

Unger Conviction

Martin Luther Costumes Flying Off the Shelves this Halloween

October 31, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB 500 years after the Protestant Reformation, Martin Luther has become the hottest costume this Halloween surpassing sales of Wonder Woman, Batman, and the entire cast of Game of Thrones. “Kids just seem to […]

The Daily Bonnet

7 Mennonite Sisters Marry 7 Mennonite Brothers in Epic Septuple Wedding

October 30, 2017 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB Brothers Jeff, Peter, Steve, Colin, John, Abe, and Patrick Brandt married sisters Rose, Mary Ann, Sally, Susan, Nettie, Aileen and Ruth Janzen in Rosetown’s largest ever wedding this past week. “There’s just something […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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