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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Aging Mennonite Couple Still Fast-Forwards Through Sex Scenes

December 9, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK Mr. and Mrs. Peter and Nettie Dyck of Regina have been in the habit of fast-forwarding through sex scenes in movies since their children were young. The kids have long since grown up […]

The Daily Bonnet

Holdeman Radio Station Plays Nothing but Static

December 8, 2017 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Radio listeners in southern Manitoba have a new option on the dial after a young entrepreneur decided to launch a station dedicated to playing all the best Holdeman hits! CJHLDM 108.3 FM promises […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Mom Discovers Hidden Stash of ‘Preservings’ Magazine Under Teen Son’s Mattress

December 7, 2017 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Mrs. Mary Loewen of North Kildonan was just going about her daily chores when she discovered a half dozen copies of the ‘Preservings’ journal underneath her son Adam’s mattress. “Oba! Looks like […]

Unger Suspicion

What Happens When a Mennonite Replies to an Email Scammer? (This is for Real)

December 6, 2017 Andrew

A while ago I watched a TED Talk by James Veitch, which documents what happened when he replied to a spam email offering him the opportunity for riches beyond compare if only he would provide some […]

Unger Games

IOC Bans Mennonites from 2018 Winter Olympics

December 6, 2017 Andrew

PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA The International Olympic Committee announced on Tuesday that Mennonites “and other Anabaptists” will be banned from competing in the 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Olympics. The IOC believes that schmaunt fat and formavorcht give […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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