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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Conservative Mennonite Church Approves Drinking Bud Light ‘Since it’s Not Really Beer Anyway’

January 6, 2018 Andrew

JANSEN, NE A strict Mennonite church in the small town of Jansen, Nebraska has broken decades of teetotaller tradition by approving the consumption of Bud Light. At a membership meeting on Saturday, the church board […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Converts JWs at the Front Door

January 5, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB On a frosty winter morning, after a marathon theological discussion that lasted almost five hours, Mr. Peter Siemens of Altona successfully converted the Jehovah’s Witnesses at his front door. “I was still in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ten Terms No One Knows the Plautdietsch Word For

January 5, 2018 Andrew

After a year-and-a-half of writing the Daily Bonnet, my knowledge of Mennonite Low German continues to grow. I’ve got Herman Rempel’s dictionary, I’ve consulted various online resources, and I constantly pester my Plautdietsch-speaking friends for […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Talk to Your Children About Sex: A Guide for Mennonite Parents

January 4, 2018 Andrew

Talking to your children about the birds and bees can be an uncomfortable scenario for many Mennonite parents. Usually we just send them off to school and cross our fingers that they’ll figure it all […]

Unger Suspicion

Volkswagen Offers Customers Financial Compensation for the Embarrassment of Driving a Volkswagen

January 3, 2018 Andrew

WOLFSBURG, GERMANY After executive Oliver Schmidt was sentenced to seven years in prison for the Volkswagen emissions scandal, the German automaker is now offering embarrassed customers financial compensation for the “utter humiliation of having to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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