CUPERTINO, CA Recent changes to Apple’s Siri and Maps mean that Mennonites across the Americas will have the chance to receive directions to the nearest Chicken Chef in a comforting Plautdietsch accent. Starting January 15, […]
WICHITA, KS The Wichita Mennonite Church Bake Sale generated lower than expected revenue this week, due in part to the extreme unpopularity of Mrs. Deirdre Jansen’s ‘Abstinence in a Pan’ dessert. The dessert, a variation […]
OAKVILLE, ON In response to widespread criticism of recent cuts to employee benefits in some of its stores, iconic Canadian donut chain Tim Hortons has graciously decided to raise its starting wage from 12 Timbits […]
BRANDON, MB The Canadian Olympic Men’s hockey team was announced Thursday and it turns out most of the guys are just random dudes from your church floor hockey league. “With the NHL boycotting the Olympics […]
WINNIPEG, MB Mr. Mark Thiessen of Chilliwack froze to death after walking a hundred metres from the airport terminal to his rental car this weekend. Police found his frozen corpse, with his debit card in […]
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