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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Dozens of Seniors Hospitalized After Visit From Penner Children

December 4, 2017 Andrew

WARMAN, SK Almost forty elderly Mennonites were taken to Warman Regional Hospital this weekend after a recent visit to the Old Folks Home by the youngest members of the Penner family, none of whom had […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Mom Suspended For Teaching Evolution in Home School

December 3, 2017 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Local home school teacher and mother of eight, Janet Kehler of Aylmer, has been suspended from teaching her own children after giving a particularly riveting lesson on Darwinian evolution last Friday. “It was […]

The Daily Bonnet

7 Mennonite F-Words Everyone Should Know

December 2, 2017 Andrew

Of course, we have “the” F-word, too, but I’ve already drank enough castor oil in my life that I don’t want to go down that road. Here are 7 other F-words that are essential to […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Grandma Jailed for Adding Flavour to Food

December 1, 2017 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Mrs. Edna Loewen of Newton, Kansas was arrested and removed from the church roster on Sunday after it was reported her cooking now contained actual flavour. According to her furious grandchildren, Loewen added […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Hipsters Pay Big Bucks to Milk Cows

December 1, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Always seeking “authentic old school” experiences, the hipster population of Winnipeg is now venturing outside the Perimeter to milk cows in rural Manitoba. Mennonite farmers in the region have been eager to capitalize […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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