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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Self-Loathing Winnipeggers Select ‘Ugh…Winnipeg Sucks’ as New City Slogan

March 2, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Winnipeggers have spoken. By a wide margin, locals voted to replace ‘One Great City’ and ‘The Heart of the Continent’ with ‘Ugh….Winnipeg sucks’ as the new city slogan. “Time and again, what we […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Buys Back Her Own Clothes at the MCC Store

March 1, 2018 Andrew
The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Lady Calls Into ‘Trading Post’ Every Day for Thirty Years

February 28, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Mrs. L. Brandt has been trying to get rid of her old ironing board on the radio Trading Post for the past three decades. “I haven’t missed a Trading Post since the […]

The Daily Bonnet

More than a Dozen Friesens Found Frozen in Friedensruh

February 27, 2018 Andrew

FRIEDENSRUH, MB Well, it finally happened! The Friesens of Friedensruh were found frozen just outside the family farm this Friday. According to forensics, the Friesens have been frozen since Fall, but thanks to rising temperatures […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Mom Sentenced to Three Years Watching ‘Peppa Pig’

February 26, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB As punishment for who the heck knows what, a Manitoba judge has sentenced local mom Samantha Hiebert to three years watching the world’s most annoying show Peppa Pig with her daughter Amy. “I’m […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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