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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Grand Beach Declared ‘Urine Free Zone’

July 7, 2018 Andrew

GRAND BEACH, MB Urinating at Manitoba’s most popular Lake Winnipeg beach this summer will result in stiff penalties thanks to a new law. Grand Beach is now officially ‘Urine Free,’ although smoking and drinking is […]

Unger & Thirst

7 Liquids that Mennonites Just Can’t Resist

July 6, 2018 Andrew

Mennonites have always been landlubbers. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard a fellow Menno complain about sushi. We’re prairie folk. We like flat fields of wheat and prefer to live nowhere near […]

Unger Conviction

Conservative and Liberal Mennonite Debate Church Music

July 6, 2018 Andrew

Let’s face it. Religious and political discourse is in serious decline these days. People prefer sound bites and memes to intelligent well-argued dialogue. In an effort to elevate the conversation, the Daily Bonnet has arranged […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Citizen Krahn’ Voted ‘Greatest Movie of All Time’

July 5, 2018 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Movie experts in the small northern Alberta town of La Crete have overwhelmingly voted Orson Wiebe’s 1941 classic ‘Citizen Krahn’ as the ‘Greatest Film of All Time.’ The film tells the tale […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Release New Version of American National Anthem, ‘The Flower-Spangled Bonnet’

July 4, 2018 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN In order to celebrate the 4th of July, the American Mennonite community has commissioned famed Mennonite songwriter Francis Scott Hostetler to write a new national anthem. “This is one even us Mennonites will […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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