The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Bravely Opts to Forgo Candle Drip-Guard

December 24, 2018 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Brave Mrs. Allison Koop, 41, decided to toss away the paper candle-wax guard during tonight’s Christmas Eve service. Koop is widely regarded as the toughest woman in Mountain Lake for her ability […]

The Daily Bonnet

How the Gingerich Stole Christmas

December 23, 2018 Andrew

BY: DR.STOLTZFUS Every Menno down in Waterloo liked Christmas a lot, Except for Mr. Gingerich who certainly DID NOT! Gingerich hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! The gifts and the songs and that old Mrs. […]

Unger Conviction

Local Mennonite Church Becomes First Ever to Make it All the Way Through ‘Der Friedensfürst’ Without Messing Up

December 22, 2018 Andrew

WITMARSUM, BRAZIL The EMMBC church of Witmarsum, Brazil is in celebration tonight after becoming the first Mennonite church ever to successfully make it through the complex four-part harmonies of ‘Der Friedensfürst‘ without a single screw […]

Unger & Thirst

Mrs. Friesen’s Plumi Moos Now 100% Mouse Free

December 21, 2018 Andrew

HOCHFELD, MB Mrs. Friesen would like to clear up a misunderstanding that has been going on for years: her world famous plumi moos contains nothing but plums. “It’s vegan,” said Mrs. Friesen. “No mice involved. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Nintendo Releases New Game for Mennonite Children

December 19, 2018 Andrew

MARTENSVILLE, SK Video game giant Nintendo has just released a new 8-bit game called Super Martens Bros. with the intent of capturing the last demographic they did not yet have: Mennonites. “Super Martens Bros. is […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 510 511 512 … 744 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Kitchener-Waterloo to Be Renamed Waterloo-Kitchener
    March 7, 2017
  • Winnipeg to Relocate Trains to Keep Out Worldly Influences
    October 16, 2024
  • Mennonites Demand Winnipeg Mayor to Change the City Name to ‘Vanapag’
    March 20, 2017
  • Local Man Dies of Boredom Watching Soccer
    July 2, 2018
  • Horseshoes-Related Injuries Soar in 2017
    June 1, 2017

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved