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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Child’s Macaroni Art Purchased by the Louvre

October 5, 2018 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE For the first time in its long history, the world’s most prestigious art museum will include Mennonite macaroni art as part of its collection. Starting this fall little Jessica Berg’s ‘Self-portrait in Macaroni […]

Unger & Thirst

Coming this October to a Mennonite Church Near You: Pumpkin Spice Baptisms!

October 4, 2018 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Desperate to capture the lucrative 25-40 market, the First Mennonite Brethren Church of Fresno has decided that all baptisms during the month of October will be conducted with Mrs. Jansen’s famous pumpkin spice […]

Unger Suspicion

Paul McCartney Shows Up at Mennonite Wedding

October 2, 2018 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB The Wiebe and Dueck families of Blumenhof were excited, and a little baffled, after Sir Paul McCartney cycled onto the property this weekend. “There we were chowing down on Mrs. Wiebe’s dills to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Calls Wrong Number, Doesn’t Notice for More than Forty Minutes

October 1, 2018 Andrew

MEADOW LAKE, SK Earlier this week, Mrs. Susie Berg, 71, attempted to call her friend Mrs. Helen Reimer to catch up on all the latest gossip. She dialed the number and instantly launched into the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Breaking News! No Abes Running for Steinbach City Council this Term!

September 30, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It’s the most shocking revelation of the 2018 campaign season: for the first time in Steinbach history, the list of city council candidates is completely Abe-less. Instead the list of candidates includes an […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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