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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Man Drives All the Way to Winnipeg with His Turn Signal On

September 29, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Peter Sawatzky, 72, is being hailed as a hero in Winkler this week after successfully driving all the way to the Costco on McGillvray with his right turn signal on. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

7 Signs You’re Becoming a Mennonite

September 28, 2018 Andrew

The world of the Englisher is one filled with excitement and adult beverages and over the years many a darper has moved to the city and abandoned their Mennonite traditions. On occasion, however, it goes […]

Unger Suspicion

Tim Allen to Star in New Show ‘Last Mennonite Standing’

September 27, 2018 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA After the on-again off-again relationship with broadcaster ABC, Tim Allen, born Tim Dick, has decided to take his talents elsewhere with a new sitcom called “Last Mennonite Standing.” In the new show Allen […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor’s Son to Take Over the Family Business

September 27, 2018 Andrew

HOUSTON, TX After announcing senior pastor Jim’s retirement from full-time ministry this past week, the Big Tex Gospel Church and Smokehouse in Houston has already chosen a successor to lead the church into the future. […]

Unger Suspicion

Portage and Main to be Accessed Exclusively by Blizzards and Ice Storms

September 26, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The votes are in and Winnipeg has decided overwhelmingly to restrict access to its most famous intersection to anything other than fierce winds, massive blizzards, devastating ice storms and maybe a tornado or […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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