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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Flock to Bob Ross Exhibit

August 18, 2019 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE More than a thousand Friesens and Penners flocked to an exhibit in Omaha this week by their very favourite painter Bob Ross. “Forget Picasso and Van Gogh. Bob Ross is the man for […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Meets His Buddies at the Pub for a Few Pints

August 17, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Heinrichs had a tough week and decided to ask his buddies Abe and Corny to go for a few pints at the local pub. Abe and Corny quickly agreed and so the […]

Unger & Thirst

Cousin Ernie Snags the ‘Obraumtje’ Yet Again

August 17, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Cousin Ernie just always gets in there like a dirty shirt and snatches the obraumtje before anyone else even has a chance at it. “I think this is why he never plays kjnipsbrat,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Reluctant Mennonite Man Dances to ‘Cotton Eye Joe’

August 16, 2019 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Guillermo Plett had never danced in his life and he wasn’t about to break his vow of dancing abstinence just because the Reimer cousins were getting married. However, three hours and a […]

Unger Conviction

Millions Show Up for Mennonite Church Service in Upstate New York

August 15, 2019 Andrew

LOWVILLE, NY Over a million people have turned up this weekend to a Mennonite church service on Max Yoder’s farm in upstate New York. The service, billed as “3 Days of Peace and Music,” features […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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