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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Ten Extremely Menno Texts My Wife Has Sent Me (This is real!)

March 12, 2019 Andrew

Oba, so sometimes when you live in Steinbach you don’t even realized how Menno your life is. It all just seems normal until you stop and take a closer look. Take, for example, these texts […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Buys a Round of Tap Water for the Whole Bar

March 11, 2019 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Allan Hostetler, 29, of Lancaster was feeling particularly generous at the bar last night and decided he’d order a round of tap water for the entire bar. “There were about thirty or forty […]

Unger & Thirst

Rogers Crew Getting Really Fat From All This Mennonite Food

March 10, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After hitting up Winkler last weekend and Steinbach this weekend, the Rogers Sportsnet crew has gained an average of twenty-three pounds in just two weeks. “When we chose to do Hometown Hockey in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba’s Most Progressive Mennonite Man Moves His Clock Forward an Hour

March 10, 2019 Andrew

REINHOF, MB A man from the small hamlet of Reinhof is being hailed as a “free-thinking radical” after moving his clock forward an hour last night. “What can I say,” said Mr. Reimer. “I’ve always […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Man Becomes Instant Millionaire After Sales Tax Drops By One Percent

March 9, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man, Mr. Klassen, of North Kildonan is eagerly anticipating the reduction of the Provincial Sales Tax from eight to seven percent this summer. The change will mean such a huge boost in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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