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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Finally Has Something to be Truly ‘Holier Than Thou’ About

January 2, 2020 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA After years of smugly pointing out the sins of others in the church lobby and in local coffee shops, self-proclaimed near-sinless holy man Mr. Zook of Lancaster has finally discovered something to truly […]

Unger Suspicion

Off-Key Mennonite Singers Top ‘Best Albums of the Decade’ List

January 1, 2020 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Despite the fact that the last ten years were undoubtedly the worst such span in popular music history, music critics have been forced by their editors to come up with ‘Best Albums […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Interrupt New ‘Star Wars’ Film with Impromptu Hymn Sing

December 30, 2019 Andrew

FRESNO, CA When the title card rolled up onto the screen of the new Star Wars movie, Mennonites and others well-versed in reading High German rose to their feet and sang along to ‘Das Emperium […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2019

December 29, 2019 Andrew

2019 was quite the year for Mennonite film, smashing box office records and garnering praise from both fans and critics alike. Without further ado, here are the top ten Mennonite films of 2019. 10. How […]

Unger Suspicion

“What is this – Calgary?” Winnipeg Man Can’t Figure Out Warm Holiday Temperatures

December 28, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After temperatures soared into the single digits below zero, (Okay, Americans, I mean just below zero Celsius), North Kildonan resident Peter Wiens decided to strip to his undies and take a nice swim […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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