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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

Modestly Attired Mennonite Women to Perform at Next Year’s Super Bowl Halftime Show

February 6, 2020 Andrew

TAMPA, FL After millions of Mennonites turned off their television sets (if they had them) and washed their eyes out with soap at this year’s Super Bowl, the NFL has announced that a choir of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Amasses World’s Largest Collection of Beverly Lewis Books

February 5, 2020 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Mrs. Beiler, 68, of Lancaster has been a diehard Beverly Lewis aficionado for the past twenty years and during that time has amassed a collection of more than ten-thousand soft cover Amish romance […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Eats All Her Popcorn Before the Movie Even Starts

February 4, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local woman, Mrs. Unrau, 41, arrived early to see Little Women for the fifth time and decided to order a bag of popcorn. Sadly for Mrs. Unrau, however, the popcorn in question was completely […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Points Out Speck of Sawdust in Brother’s Eye

February 4, 2020 Andrew

KIDRON, OH Mr. Hofstetter just couldn’t believe the size of the speck in Mr. Horst’s eye this week and made sure to point it out to him in the church lobby on Sunday. “Would you […]

The Daily Bonnet

Meddachschlop Over 60: Five Tips for Mennonite Seniors

February 3, 2020 Andrew

As we age, many things that we took for granted as young Mennonites start to become more difficult. Plowing is hard on the back. Hitting that high note during the Vespers service becomes a challenge. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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