CALGARY, AB
All 7 Mennonite Brethren churches in Calgary have changed their mode of baptism this week after a main break significantly reduced water supply in the city.
“We’re just doing our part,” said Pastor Jim. “I never thought I’d perform a pouring but desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Unable to fill the baptismal tanks, Calgary MBers will be baptized using a small cup of tepid water instead.
“Quite frankly, I’m not sure how it’s done exactly,” said Pastor Jim. “I had to get Pastor Ken from that GC church to give me a few pointers.”
The change came as quite the shock for rival Mennonites across the city.
“It’s about time those MBers saw the light,” said local GCer Jeremy Goertzen. “That water main break was a blessing in disguise.”
Calgary MBers said that, at this point, mode of baptism was their only point of alignment with the GCers and would maintain their tradition of not seeing eye-to-eye on any other issue.