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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Sent To Unclog Space Toilet

April 7, 2026 Andrew

SPACE Mr. Dave Thiessen, amateur plumber from Plum Coulee, has been sent into space this week to unclog the Artemis II toilet. “When my Mary saw that on TV she said, ‘oba, Dave, that’s a […]

Unger Suspicion

Family Manages to Get On a Record Three Rides During Weeklong Trip to Disney

April 6, 2026 Andrew

ORLANDO, FL The Kehlers of Mountain Lake, Minnesota have set a new record this week in Disneyworld after managing to get on three whole rides during there week-long trip. “We got in line on Monday […]

Unger Games

Taber Arena Will No Longer Be Flooded With Schmaunt Fat After Winning Kraft Hockeyville

April 5, 2026 Andrew

TABER, AB The local arena in Taber, Alberta is getting a major upgrade after winning Kraft Hockeyville this week. “We’ve been flooding the rink with leftover schmaunt fat for years,” said arena manager Susie Plett. […]

Unger Games

Peters “Makes It to First Base” Giving Hope to Young Men Across Winkler

April 4, 2026 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Rumours are swirling in Winkler this week after Chicago White Sox outfielder Tristan Peters became the first Mennonite ever and first Manitoban in almost twenty years to make to first base. The news […]

Unger Suspicion

Pam Bondi Offered Promising New Career in Multilevel Marketing

April 3, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC It didn’t take long for recently unemployed Attorney General Pam Bondi to land on her feet. “The church ladies have always got your back,” said Bondi. “Everyone was coming up to me in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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