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Articles by Andrew

Unger the Influence

Carney Just One MP Resignation Away From Minority Government the People Voted For

May 29, 2026 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After months of finagling, it looks like Prime Minister Mark Carney is just one MP resignation from his goal of giving the Canadian public what the voted for in the first place. “It’s […]

Unger & Thirst

Enhanced Games Allow Athletes to Use Summa Borscht

May 28, 2026 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV The inaugural Enhanced Games in Las Vegas this week will allow athletes from around the world to compete under the influence of summa borscht. “It’s the first of its kind to allow […]

Unger the Influence

Carney to Raze 72 Million Acres of Old Growth Forest to Make Copies of Guilbeault’s Resignation Letter

May 27, 2026 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Prime Minister Mark Carney has decided to raze more than 72 million acres of old growth forest in the province of British Columbia this week just to make sure every man, woman, and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Petro-Canada Introduces New Farmer Sausage-Scented Air Fresheners

May 26, 2026 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A new formavorscht-scented car air freshener has been flying off the shelves at gas stations this past week, with Mennonites throughout the region eager to have their truck cabs smell of smoked meat. […]

Unger & Thirst

Andrew Unger Celebrates 10 Years of Schmaunt Fat Jokes

May 25, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Author Andrew Unger started writing satire exactly ten years ago and in that time has posted more than 3000 fake news articles about schmaunt fat. “I began this project as a way to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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