HOLLYWOOD, CA Director Christopher Nolan has stirred up controversy for his casting decisions yet again this week after replacing Matt Damon with 83-year-old retired Mennonite farmer/minister David Unrau. Unrau will star as legendary Greek hero […]
TEHRAN, IRAN The United States has hit Iran with the most dangerous weapon in its arsenal: Taco Bell lettuce. “If you don’t open the Strait of Hormuz immediately, we’re going to bombard you with Taco […]
WASHINGTON, DC President Donald Trump has just approved the expenditure of $81 billion to construct a wooden fence along the border to keep Canadian smoke from entering the country. “They’re not sending their best smoke, […]
This is real. I know, I don’t report real news very often. A good Mennonite would never purchase a vanity plate, but, hey, when you can get one for free, why not? I guess we […]
ATLANTA, GA Mennonite soccer fans across South America were cheering against Argentina this afternoon, only for England to totally “fe’schlucke” at the last minute. “Diewel, I’ve never seen a team fe’schlucke themselves like that before,” […]
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