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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Ed Sullivan Theatre to Be Demolished and Replaced with Donald J. Trump Center for Free Speech

May 22, 2026 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY The historic Ed Sullivan Theatre in New York will be torn down this week and replaced with a $1.8 billion Donald J. Trump Center for Free Speech. “I’ve always been a very […]

The Daily Bonnet

Potato Discovered in Mennonite Man’s Vereniki

May 21, 2026 Andrew

BURNS LAKE, BC Thomas Redekop, 54, of Burns Lake, BC was in for the surprise of his life after he cut into a delicious perogy only to discover the entire thing was filled with a […]

Unger the Influence

Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund

May 20, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC The White House just announced this week they’d be creating a $1.8 billion slush fund, specifically designed to provide Trump and his buddies with a neverending supply of 7-11 Slurpees. “I’ve hand-selected a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Permanently Trapped in New Landmark Roundabout

May 19, 2026 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB Landmark woman Mrs. Plett (of course) was eager to try out the new roundabout just as construction is beginning and has already gotten herself trapped in a never ending loop. “This doesn’t bode […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Metro Region Hoists Centennial Cup

May 18, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG METRO REGION, MB The Winnipeg Metro Region Nighthawks have become just the fourth team in MJHL history to win the national championship. “We’re so proud of our team the Nighthawks,” said Winnipeg mayor Scott […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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