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Articles by Andrew

Unger Games

Premiers Gather in Saskatoon for Annual Crokinole Tournament

January 29, 2026 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Canadian provincial and federal leaders showed a united front this afternoon as they gathered in Saskatoon to see who was the better knipser. “Of course, Wab Kinew had a big advantage being from […]

Unger Games

Area Man to Pretend Super Bowl Actually Matters to Distract Himself from Everything Else Going On in the World Right Now

January 28, 2026 Andrew

SANTA CLARA, CA Area man Jake Loewen, 41, is really gearing up for the Super Bowl this weekend to distract himself from thinking about all the messed up things that have been going on lately. […]

Unger Suspicion

Climber Scales Credit Union Building Without Safety Gear

January 27, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB World-renowned climber Alex Honnold has just accomplished the greatest feat of his career—free soloing the credit union building in Steinbach. “No one ever thought it could be done,” said climbing enthusiast Steve Kliewer. […]

Unger the Influence

“Up is Down” and “Down is Up” New Report Suggests

January 26, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC A new report out of the nation’s capital this weekend suggests north is south, east is west, and up is down. “Rather than burdening each citizen with the arduous task of looking into […]

Unger the Influence

GTA Prepares for Largest Deposit of Snow Since the Rob Ford Administration

January 25, 2026 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Residents of the Greater Toronto Area are bracing themselves for what meteorologists are calling the “largest accumulation of snow since Rob Ford was around.” “Oh, geez, that’s a lot of snow,” said Mississauga […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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