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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

World’s Most Daring Mennonite Man Tries the Mild Spice

March 25, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Andre Unrau, 43, of Steinbach has entered the Guinness Book of Records this week after trying the mild spice at the new Chica’s Chicken in Steinbach. “No Mennonite has ever ventured beyond the […]

Unger Conviction

Steinbach Declared “Most Generous” Contributors to Church Gymnasium Funds

March 24, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB According to tax returns, residents of Steinbach, Manitoba tithe at a much higher rate than any other community in the country. “This is truly a generous community when it comes to paying pastors’ […]

Unger Games

Jets Add Mennonite Sunday School Teacher to Lowly Power Play Unit

March 23, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Desperate to get things going on their lacklustre power play, the Winnipeg Jets have brought in All-Star forward Mrs. Janzen of the Altona Mennonite Church Sunday School floor hockey league. “We’re not moving […]

Unger Suspicion

Spring is Here! Manitobans Excited for Only 8 More Weeks of Winter

March 22, 2023 Andrew

KILLARNEY, MB It’s the beginning of spring and, you know what that means – only 8 more weeks of winter here in Manitoba. “I always love this time of year,” said Garth Reimer of Killarney. […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman’s Ice Cream Pails Full of Cash Completely Unaffected By Banking Crisis

March 21, 2023 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Unlike a significant number of her contemporaries, Mrs. Broesky of Linden, Alberta was completely unconcerned this week about the banking crisis south of the border. “Oba, I was getting messages on the WhatsApp […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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