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Articles by Andrew

Unger Suspicion

Jason Kenney Quits Politics to Become One of Those Wacko Street Preachers

May 22, 2022 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Days after announcing his resignation as Premier of Alberta, Jason Kenney has announced he will spend the rest of his days yelling evangelistic messages on the street corners of major Alberta cities. “Just […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba Reports First Case of Broeskypox

May 21, 2022 Andrew

SOMMERHIMMELTHAL, MB Health officials are concerned this week after the first case of Broeskypox in more than a decade has been discovered in the region. “There’s no need to be alarmed just yet,” said Dale […]

Unger Suspicion

Ex-Blumenort Menno Knights Head Coach Signs with Winnipeg Jets

May 20, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Winnipeg Jets have inked Pieta Toews formerly GM, equipment manager, head coach, and tuck shop clerk of the Blumenort Menno Knights to fill the vacant head coaching job. “I can’t believe the […]

Unger Suspicion

Jordan Peterson Releases New ’12 Rules for Life: Swimsuit Edition’

May 19, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Tired of the “woke” swimsuit editions coming from the mainstream media, anti-PC crusader Jordan Peterson is set to release ’12 Rules for Life: Swimsuit Edition’ specifically for an audience that “appreciates good old-fashioned […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mr. Toews Realizes He’s Been Saying His Own Name Wrong This Whole Time

May 18, 2022 Andrew

KILLARNEY, MB An encounter with a Winkler man who says all Mennonite surnames the correct way, had Mr. Toews of Killarney rethinking everything he thought he knew about how to say his own name. “Diewel, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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