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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Reads Entire Magazine Without Paying For It

January 5, 2022 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS Mrs. Goerzen, 71, of Goessel read through an entire issue of Beyond the Missionary Position while standing at the magazine rack at her local convenience store this week. “Ahhh, it was nice to catch up […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Satirist Shunned After Appearing on Television

January 4, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB An unphotoshopped photo of Mennonite satirist and longtime Steinbach resident Andrew Unger has surfaced on Reddit this week, apparently showing the writer on a television show of some sort. “Oba, we’ve kicked people […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Legend’s Entire Music Catalogue Sold to Werner Music

January 3, 2022 Andrew

AKRON, PA Another day and yet another Mennonite music icon has sold their entire music catalogue to media giant Werner Music. Today, Plautdietsch hymn singer and master of the autoharp, Heinrich Berg, sold his publishing […]

The Daily Bonnet

Opa Krahn is Patiently Waiting in the Wings

January 2, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Opa Krahn has been patiently sitting in the Krahn living room for the past few weeks, just waiting for the opportunity to come into the kitchen and surprise everyone with his presence. “Mother’s […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Man Carries on Longstanding Mennonite Tradition of Licking the Beaters

January 1, 2022 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Darryl Klassen, 43, of Swift Current is undergoing surgery this weekend to untangle his tongue from his mother’s hand mixer. “It’s been a tradition ever since I was five years old,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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