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Articles by Andrew

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Child Wondering Why We’re Singing All These Songs About Calgary this Time of Year

April 16, 2022 Andrew

OSLER, SK Easter is a confusing time for Mennonite children across the Canadian prairies as, for some reason, we’re all singing songs about Calgary, Alberta again. One such affected child is little Lisa Braun, 9, […]

Unger & Thirst

Road Closures Cut Off Paska Supply

April 15, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Inclement spring weather has meant the closure of a number of highways that are essential to maintaining the flow of paska into the region. “Highway 75 is closed today, sealing Mennonites off from […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man to Open Massive Backyard Poultry Operation in Winnipeg

April 14, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Moments after the City of Winnipeg announced plans to allow for “backyard chickens,” Corny Wiebe bought quota for a 10,000-bird chicken operation, which he plans to open on his North Kildonan property. “Finally […]

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Hit with Worst Blizzard in Decades

April 13, 2022 Andrew

REINLAND, MB A Reinland man claims he was sick of paying “city people” prices for ice cream desserts and decided he was going to replicate a Blizzard treat all on his own. The results were […]

Unger Conviction

Disney Releases New Song: ‘We Don’t Talk About Menno’

April 12, 2022 Andrew

ANAHEIM, CA Disney has just released a brand new children’s song called ‘We Don’t Talk About Menno’ intended to appeal to Mennonite churches who’ve abandoned their traditional Anabaptist theology. “We know there’s a huge market […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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