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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Hasn’t Knacked Zoat All Year

January 3, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After decades as one of Winkler’s top zoat knackers, area man Art Harder, 71, is really proud of himself for resisting the urge to knack zoat all year. “Things were getting out of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Blames Loss on Slightly-Raised Staple

January 2, 2023 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB Area man Steve Kroeker, 67, of Rosetown went home really grumpy after the annual Kroeker Kjnipsdesh tournament this weekend … and all on account of a raised staple. “That’s the last time we […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Daily Bonnet Articles of 2022

January 1, 2023 Andrew

Happy New Year, everyone! I think we’re all hoping 2023 will be better than last year. Still, I’m grateful for the opportunities I had last year to travel in support of my novel Once Removed […]

Unger Games

Christiano Ronaldo Signs $200 Million Deal with Hanover Kickers

December 31, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The Hanover Kickers of the Manitoba Major Soccer League scored big this off-season with the signing of Portuguese superstar Christiano Ronaldo. The deal is rumoured to be worth upwards of $200 million a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Entire Sense of Self-Worth Wrapped Up in His 14-in-1 Leatherman Multi-Tool

December 30, 2022 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Even though he rarely has any reason to use it, area man Art Peters, 68, never goes anywhere without his 14-in-1 Leatherman multi-tool clipped to his belt. “It’s gotten pretty bad,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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