The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Man Disguised as Mennonite Woman Smears Schmaunt Fat on Mona Lisa

May 31, 2022 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE The world’s most famous painting was defiled this afternoon with a delicious white cream gravy known to Mennonites as “schmaunt fat.” “I don’t really think of it as defilement really,” said head of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Hopes of McDonald’s Dashed as Mennonite Children Told “We Have Perfectly Good Food at Home!”

May 30, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON The Hildebrandt family drove into the big city of Leamington this weekend to pick up a truck load of items at the local Walmart. Hopes of stopping for Happy Meals were quickly dashed, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Twenty Waved Off After Distinct Kicking Motion

May 29, 2022 Andrew

CALGARY, AB With just minutes left to play in game 5 of the Alberta crokinole finals, it seemed that Calgary’s Blake Kornelsen had flicked the twenty of his life. However, after consultation with the video […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Gather at Relief Sale to Get their Hands on Fresh Tea Balls

May 28, 2022 Andrew

NEW HAMBURG, ON While the New Hamburg relief sale has dozens of delicious treats from donuts and fleisch piroschki to cream buns and roll kuchen, what Mennonites really like to bring out this time of […]

Unger Suspicion

Johnny Depp Flees Courthouse in White Ford Bronco

May 27, 2022 Andrew

LOS ANGELES, CA Actor Johnny Depp was spotted leaving a Virginia courthouse this week and cruising back home to California in a white Ford Bronco. “I think he had enough of all the Johnny Depp-Amber […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 226 227 228 … 708 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Thousands of Winnipeggers Show Up to Church this Morning After Divine Intervention in Football Game
    October 27, 2024
  • Local Library Censors ‘Dyck Picture Book’
    January 22, 2021
  • ‘Twas the Night Before Mennonite Christmas
    December 20, 2020
  • House of Commons Expansion Still Not Big Enough to Accommodate Politicians’ Egos
    May 14, 2024
  • $8 Billion Marijuana Theme Park to Be Built on Parliament Hill
    November 30, 2017

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved