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Articles by Andrew

Unger & Thirst

Thousands of Partiers Show Up to Mennonite Man’s “Hot New Disco”

September 8, 2022 Andrew

HOCHFELD, MEXICO Equipped with bellbottoms and Bee Gees records, thousands of eager dancers showed up in the tiny village of Hochfeld, Mexico this week for what promised to be the “hottest disco in all of […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Census Data Identifies ‘English mixed with Plautdietsch and a bit of regular German mixed in yet’ as Most Popular Language in Winkler

September 7, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Recently released figures from Stats Canada show that English with a sprinkling of Low and High German is the most common mother tongue in the RM of Winkler yet once. “Oh, jauma, they […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ben Heppner and Howard Dyck Return with New Radio Show ‘Saturday Afternoon Meddachschlop at the Opera’

September 6, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Even though most of their fellow Mennonites were too busy mucking the stalls most weekends to notice, for decades opera radio in Canada was dominated by Howard Dyck and Ben Heppner, both long-time […]

Unger & Thirst

Abbotsford Man Subsists Entirely on Rempel’s Farmer Sausage Soup

September 5, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC For more than 17 years, local man Earl Penner has eaten nothing but Rempel’s Farmer Sausage Soup at Ricky’s breakfast, lunch, and dinner. “Ever since my Martha passed away, I’ve been coming here […]

The Daily Bonnet

Family Sells Modest Bungalow in Abbotsford to Live Like Kings in Winnipeg

September 4, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Janzens have just sold their modest 1100 sq. foot bungalow in Abbotsford and are using the funds to live like kings the rest of their lives in Winnipeg. “Even when you factor […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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