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Articles by Andrew

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Man Fined for Obstructed View; Everyone Thinks It’s Satire

November 22, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB When Steinbach Online reported earlier today about a local man who was stopped by the RCMP this week for driving with his entire windshield covered in snow, everyone thought they were just reading […]

Unger Conviction

Abbotsford Music Fans Demand Brian Doerksen Open for Taylor Swift

November 21, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC A petition had been circulating in local MB church lobbies this week to have the Fraser Valley’s most popular worship leader Brian Doerksen open up for Taylor Swift in Vancouver next year. “Can […]

Unger Games

Bombers Fans Really Excited About Last Night’s Green Day Concert

November 20, 2023 Andrew

HAMILTON, ON It was the biggest night on the Canadian Football calendar, so naturally Winnipeg Blue Bomber fans were super pumped to see Green Day. “I’ve been looking forward to this Green Day concert for […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Love New Game Show ‘Frintschoft Feud’

November 19, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Ratings were through the roof this week after the Hieberts of Abbotsford appeared on the popular Family Feud game show. The appearance was so successful that the show’s producers have decided to create […]

Unger Conviction

Snoop Dogg Gives Up Smoking after Joining Mennonite Church

November 18, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Rap icon Snoop Dogg made headlines this week after declaring that he will no longer partake in cannabis. Further investigation revealed that the dramatic lifestyle change came after an encounter with a Mennonite […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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