WASHINGTON, DC
The White House announced this week that they were sick and tired of people changing the names of things all the time and so would be returning the day to honour the guy who directed Home Alone.
“Today we pause to reflect on the work of one the great Americans, director Christopher Columbus,” said Trump. “I appeared in the second Home Alone movie, so it’s only natural we honour Mr. Columbus.”
Millions of Americans set aside time in their day to think abut the great contributions of director Christopher Columbus.
“He also did Mrs. Doubtfire, a few of the Harry Potter movies and who can forget Adventures in Babysitting?” said Trump. “I know Melania and I will be snuggling on the couch with some Big Macs and watching that one tonight. Maybe we’ll even watch it twice.”
Christopher Columbus the director said he appreciated the sentiment but surely there were some others who were more deserving of their own holiday.
“Scorsese Day maybe?” said Columbus. “Anyway, it’s all good. I’m glad folks are still enjoying my movies.”
The holiday comes just weeks before Americans will be asked to pause, eat some turkey, and be thankful for the output of seminal 1980s rock band Huey Lewis and the News.
