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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Kids Forced to Recite Poem in Order to Get Christmas Present

December 17, 2024 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB Young Steven Froese of Rosetown found himself without a poem or Bible verse to share at the gathering this Christmas, which resulted in the six-year-old going home completely empty handed. “Ugh, I guess […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler to Set Clocks One Hour Ahead of Morden

November 1, 2026 Andrew

WINKLER, MB When the Province announced that Manitobans would no longer be participating in the time change, the City of Winkler pounced on the opportunity to distinguish itself from neighbouring Morden. “We’re establishing a Winkler […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Couple Dress as Country’s Scariest Creature: Canada Geese

October 31, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB First time trick-or-treaters Pete and Linda Siemens of North Kildonan had heard you were supposed to dress as something really really scary for Halloween. “So, naturally, we dressed as the scariest creature in […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Couple Make Sure to Eat at Home Before Jets Game

October 30, 2026 Andrew

ALTONA, MB When the Friesens of Altona got free nosebleed tickets to the Jets game this week, they were put in quite the predicament. “Looks like we’re going to have to pre-game it,” said Susie, […]

Unger & Thirst

City’s Top Chef Mortified to Discover His ‘Charcuterie Board’ is Just Glorified Faspa

October 29, 2026 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC The chef at Vancouver’s top restaurant has been feeding the city’s elite for years with his delectable selection of charcuterie. Unfortunately, chef Pierre’s ego took a big hit this weekend after a trip […]

Unger the Influence

Person Under 70 Shocks Community By Voting

October 28, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Michael Wiebe sent shockwaves across the entire city this afternoon by voting at the fresh young age of just 46 years old. “That’s a little young to be voting if you ask me,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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