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Month: February 2024

The Daily Bonnet

Local Boy Strikes it Rich Gathering Quartz from the Driveway

February 29, 2024 Andrew

GRUENFELD, SK Gruenfeld boy Joel Bergman, 9, has become the area’s youngest millionaire this week after discovering several quartz stones in the family’s gravel driveway. “Who would have thought his rock collecting hobby would turn […]

The Daily Bonnet

10 Items You Should Not Donate to the Abbotsford Thrift Store

February 28, 2024 Andrew

Oba, nay! So after an unfortunate donation at an Abbotsford thrift store this week, we thought we’d make the rules a little more clear. Please, folks, whatever you do, do not donate the following items […]

The Daily Bonnet

How large does your town have to be before you can start flipping off other drivers? A guide for Mennonites

February 27, 2024 Andrew

According to the official rules, Mennonites should not be proud of anything. Secretly, however, Mennonites pride themselves on many things, including being among the worst drivers in the country. This is largely attributed to the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Calls Mother-in-Law “Hey You” to Avoid Calling Her “Mom”

February 26, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB For more than fifteen years, area man Steve Plett, 37, has awkwardly navigated the strange terrain of just what the heck to call his mother-in-law. “When Jess and I got married, my mother-in-law […]

The Daily Bonnet

Long Lost Mennonite Man Discovered Puttering in the Garage

February 25, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Almost three decades after Art Wiens went missing back in 1996, he was found to be puttering in the garage of his North Kildonan home. “I don’t know why I never thought of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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