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Month: June 2023

Unger Conviction

Pair of Used Communion Cups Sit Uncollected for Three Months

June 10, 2023 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB The ushers at East Grunthal Mennonite Church are in the hot seat this week after a pair of communion cups were discovered in the pews a full three months after the last communion. […]

Unger & Thirst

Lord Blesses Mennonites with Massive Farmer Sausage Smoke Shack

June 9, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The prayers of devout Mennonites across Canada have been answered this week as thousands of acres of forest are now on fire, providing ample opportunity to smoke a sausage or two. “I was […]

The Daily Bonnet

Engaged Woman Struggles to Keep from Farting in Front of Her Fiancé

June 8, 2023 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB With his three weeks to go before the wedding, Sandra Kliewer is struggling to prevent herself from farting in front of her soon-to-be husband. “We started dating a year ago, so it’s been […]

Unger Games

Fans Shocked as PGA Tour Merges with Mennonite Cornhole League

June 7, 2023 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE The news sent shockwaves across the sporting world this afternoon, after it was announced that the PGA Tour would be merging with their longtime rival Mennonite Cornhole League. “It was a long hard […]

Headline Contest

Annual ‘Best Borscht Breath’ Championship Draws Massive Crowd for 9th Consecutive Year (Headline Contest #6 winner)

June 6, 2023 Andrew

Congrats to this week’s winner Evan Morgan! Each week The Unger Review will provide a photo in need of a headline. At the end of the week the top 3 headlines, as selected by The […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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