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Month: May 2023

The Daily Bonnet

Pick-Up-and-Walk Crew Followed Closely By Toss-Your-Cigarette-Butts-Out-the-Window Crew

May 7, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Every year, the community of Steinbach gathers together on a Saturday to pick up garbage and beautify the city. It’s called ‘Pick up and Walk’ and is quickly followed by an even more […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Installs Massive New Rug Under which to Sweep All Their Problems

May 6, 2023 Andrew

HIMMELSFELD, MB The good folks of Himmelsfeld, Manitoba unveiled a massive new rug this week, under which they intend to sweep all the town’s problems. If it’s large enough, that is. “We’ve been sweeping our […]

Unger Games

Steinbach Pistons to Face Blumenort Menno Knights

May 5, 2023 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB They had to call in the backup crew at Centennial Arena in Steinbach this week to scoop up all the zoat that was knacked during the Steinbach Pistons’ Turnbull Cup victory party. It […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Finally Finds Some Suitable Olive Oil

May 4, 2023 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC As Aganetha Kliewer, 72, of Chilliwack wandered the aisles of the local grocery store this week she was very excited to discovery an olive oil that was seemingly made just for her: extra […]

Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Prepare to Mark Coronation of King Rudy Wiebe

May 3, 2023 Andrew

TABER, AB Monarchists and royal watchers throughout the Mennonite world are eagerly anticipating the coronation of King Rudy Wiebe this Saturday. The excitement is mounting in Taber, Alberta, where locals have scrambled to read Peace […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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