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Month: December 2022

Unger Suspicion

Poll: Should Elon Musk Take Over The Daily Bonnet?

December 21, 2022 Andrew

Waut es met die? This poll is absolutely binding. Whatever you say goes. It’s a democracy. Just like a Mennonite elder board meeting. So the question is – should Elon Musk be given full control […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Tell if Your Christmas Tree is Illegal

December 20, 2022 Andrew

Oba, so these days even in Schteinback you have to know where your tree is coming from once yet such. You just can’t trust anyone who says, “Oba, yo, I’ve got a tree for you […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Wears Steel Toe Boots to Church

December 19, 2022 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB In an abundance of caution, Mr. Plett has taken to wearing his steel toe boots everywhere he goes, including church. “I’m a Mennonite, so of course I don’t care about safety recommendations,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Argentina Runs Out of Yerba Mate Moments After World Cup Victory

December 18, 2022 Andrew

LA PAMPA COLONY, ARGENTINA After consuming more than 100 million kilos of yerba mate in just 90 minutes, the supply of green leafy tea in the World Cup champion nation of Argentina, is now completely […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Man Shuts Off Vikings Game at Half Time

December 17, 2022 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Disgusted at his team’s performance, area man Pete Klassen shut off the TV at half time as his team was down 33-0. “Oba, I’ve had enough!” said Klassen tossing the remote control […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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