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Month: May 2022

The Daily Bonnet

Empty Steinbach Car Lots to Be Filled with Horses

May 9, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The worldwide automobile shortage has been felt across the globe, but no more so than in the “Automobile City” Steinbach, Manitoba, where local dealers have gone to great lengths to keep customers on […]

Unger Suspicion

US Supreme Court to be Expanded from 9 Members to 535 and Renamed ‘Congress’

May 8, 2022 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC After nearly 250 of years of pretending there were three distinct branches of US government, the United States Supreme Court will be expanded by 526 members and will be renamed Congress. “Who are […]

Unger Suspicion

Band on “Cross-Country” Tour of Canada Really Only Just Playing in Toronto and Montreal

May 7, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Legendary American hard rock band The Guess Why? are embarking on a “cross country” tour which includes stops in more than one Canadian city. “We’re going from coast to coast,” said Guess Why? […]

The Daily Bonnet

Netflix to Crack Down on Mennonites Sharing Passwords

May 6, 2022 Andrew

LOS GATOS, CA After losing more than 200,000 subscribers and millions of dollars last month, streaming service Netflix plans to crack down on the more than 1.5 million Reimers all sharing the same Netflix password. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mrs. Dueck Shows Up at 4 AM in Anticipation of 9 AM Garage Sale

May 5, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Mrs. Dueck parked her lawn chair outside the Schellenberg residence at 4 AM this Saturday morning in anticipation of the garage sale, which, according to the signs, begins at 9. “Gotta be first […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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