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Month: March 2022

The Daily Bonnet

Assiniboine Zoo Now Has Higher Vaccination Rate than Southern Manitoba

March 11, 2022 Andrew

RM of STANLEY, MB After vaccinating dozens of animals against Covid-19 this week, the Assiniboine Zoo in Winnipeg officially has a higher vaccination rate than the RM of Stanley near Winkler. “Ahh, nice, looks like […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Totally Unaffected By Spike in Gas Prices

March 10, 2022 Andrew

ELMIRA, ON While the surge in gas prices seems to have affected folks around the world, there is one group of people who seem completely oblivious to the change: Mennonites. “Yeah, I heard the Englishers […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Man Intends to Snowmobile Well Into June This Year

March 9, 2022 Andrew

WHITEMOUTH, MB Local man Al Kehler, 61, is excited for the 2022 snowmobile season and is full expecting the trails to be groomed and perfect for sledding until at least mid-June. “Ahh, finally a good […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Releases Brand New List of Sins for 2022

March 8, 2022 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Mennonites have been marking this day on their calendar for months – the day when their local church releases the new list of sins for the year. “The kids, especially, are really excited. […]

Unger & Thirst

Liquor Stores Remove Russian Vodka from Shelves Without Any Mennonites Noticing

March 7, 2022 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Not a single one of Manitoba’s more than 700,000 Mennonites would admit to noticing the fact that local liquor stores had removed Russian vodka from the shelves. “Oh, that’s certainly news to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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