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Month: March 2022

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Rebrands Spring Break as ‘Winter Break Part 2’

March 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In an effort to more accurately reflect the realities of the situation, the Manitoba government has decided to rebrand Spring Break 2022 as ‘Winter Break Part 2.’ Area students were super excited about […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man to Increase Gas Production

March 24, 2022 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Fraser Valley gas producer Marty Klassen, 48, is responding to the worldwide oil and gas shortage by ramping up production of his own. “If OPEC isn’t going to do it, then I guess […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Transit Now Offering Ark Service

March 23, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Starting this Sunday, the public transit service in Manitoba’s largest city will now include trips across town via ark. “This is something we’ve needed for years,” said mayor Brian Bowman. “Every spring I […]

Unger Conviction

North Kildonan Gets its Own Area Code

March 22, 2022 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB Manitoba is about to get its third area code. Starting next month, all residents of the Mennonite enclave of North Kildonan will be given the area code 606, “just to make it […]

The Daily Bonnet

Nah Yo-dle is Real and its Spectacular!

March 21, 2022 Andrew

Move over Wordle – there’s a new Mennonite game in town. Nah Yo-dle has taken the Mennonite Internet by storm. We stopped by at the EMC Squared Church lobby in Schteinback to get the word […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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