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Month: March 2019

Unger Suspicion

One Million Manitobans Trapped in their Driveways Due to Obstructed Views

March 6, 2019 Andrew

PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB More than a million Manitobans have been trapped at the edge of their driveways this winter unable to see clearly enough beyond the huge mounds of piled up snow. “I’ve been […]

Unger Suspicion

Trudeau Shopping for New Cabinet at IKEA

March 5, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After losing several key components of his federal cabinet this week, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was spotted at a local IKEA store looking for a new one. “Ooooh, this Havsta line looks great,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Sunday School Kids to Open for Barack Obama

March 4, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The annual Bible memorization competition will take a larger stage this year after former President Barack Obama invited the little tykes to be the opening act for his performance tonight in Winnipeg. “I’m […]

The Daily Bonnet

98% of Mennos Still Using a Landline

March 3, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A new survey conducted in the lobby of the MBEM Church in Winkler reveals that a full 98% of Mennonites still rely on their landline telephone to communicate with the outside world. “Ach, […]

Unger Games

‘Mount Kenaston’ Ski Hill Closes for the Season

March 2, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba’s highest and favourite ski hill ‘Mount Kenaston’ is closing for the 2019 season after temperatures rose to minus twenty this weekend. “We’re getting into spring now and we’ve decided to shut things […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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